Where I've been

contradiction anyone?

asshole: see below

http://filmstripinternational.com/



that's all I have for today

it is what comes up when you google "asshole" and click I'm feeling lucky (Thanks Eva)

Victor Jara- cantante chileno y El poeta

El lazo The Noose

Cuando el sol se inclinaba, When the sun was setting
lo encontré, I found him
en un rancho sombrío, In a gloomy hut,
de Lonquén, in Lonquen,
en un rancho de pobres, In a poverty stricken sickness,
lo encontré, I found him,
cuando el sol se inclinaba, When the sun was setting
en Lonquén. in Lonquen
Sus manos siendo tan viejas His hands, although so old
eran fuertes pa' trenzar, were strong in their plaiting,
eran rudas y eran tiernas They were rough and they were tender
con el cuero'el animal. with the animal skin.
El lazo como serpiente The plaited noose, like a snake
se enroscaba en el nogal curled around the walnut tree
y en cada lazo la huella In which every mesh was woven
de su vida y de su pan. His life and his bread.
Cuanto tiempo hay en sus manos How much time is contained in his hands
y en su apagado mirar. and in his patient gaze
Y nadie ha dicho: esta bueno, and nobody has said: "That's enough,
ya no debes trabajar. you should not work anymore."
La sombra viene laceando The shadows fell interlacing,
la ultima luz del día the last light of the day.
el viejo trenza unos versos The old man weaves some verses
pa' maniatar la alegría. to capture some gaiety.
Sus lazos han recorrido His nooses have traveled
sur y norte, cerro y mar, south and north, coast and mountain,
pero el viejo la distancia but the old man never learnt
nunca la supo explicar. what distance really means.
Su vida deja en los lazos He leaves his life in plainted leather
aferrados al nogal, knotted to the walnut tree
después llegara la muerte Soon death will come
y también lo laceara. and that too will be plaited in.
Que importa si el lazo es firme What does it matter if the noose is firm
y dura la eternidad, and lasts for eternity,
laceando por algún campo Intertwined with some country place
el viejo descanzara. the old man at last will rest.
Cuando el sol se inclinaba, When the sun was setting
lo encontré, I found him
en un rancho sombrío In a gloomy hut
de Lonquén, in Lonquen
en un rancho de pobres In a poverty stricken sickness
lo encontré, I found him
cuando el sol se inclinaba When the sun was setting
en Lonquén. in Lonquen
































































The Dictators

An odor has remained among the sugarcane:
a mixture of blood and body, a penetrating
petal that brings nausea.
Between the coconut palms the graves are full
of ruined bones, of speechless death-rattles.
The delicate dictator is talking
with top hats, gold braid, and collars.
The tiny palace gleams like a watch
and the rapid laughs with gloves on
cross the corridors at times
and join the dead voices
and the blue mouths freshly buried.
The weeping cannot be seen, like a plant
whose seeds fall endlessly on the earth,
whose large blind leaves grow even without light.
Hatred has grown scale on scale,
blow on blow, in the ghastly water of the swamp,
with a snout full of ooze and silence

Pablo Neruda

To forfeit and opportunity to ignite the constantly fleeting essence of youth is the gravestsin. The uncontrollable shrieks from behind closet doors next to me beat any cyncial humor or feeling of validation from concordance with feelings of contempt. Fatigue is no match for the adrenaline surge and pounding heart as the enemy nears. Openness to the simple joys of childhood soon to decay, dissapate should be exercised vigorously so as to shake the enthusiasm and pure love into as many cells as possible.

where I am

I am on my blue chair
in my overheated apartment
in front of my oversized monitor radiating light
under a roof shared with strangers
separated from a life too familiarly dysfunctional by a bit of drywall
I have a friend in the other room
a kitchen full of food
lights, clean water, and enough clothes for an entire family

I am surrounded by technology
it adds a little to my life and takes a lot more away
two speakers play a tune that I let mean something to me
my room is full of furniture my grandparents bought me when I was 10

tomorrow I will go to a job which provides me an opportunity to do a few small things that make a difference
I get paid to do what, most of the time, I feel is right
Yet I go along feeling animosity and superiority.
Tomorrow I will tell a concerned woman, there is nothing that can be done
'you and your children will no longer have water in your home'
I will tell the long-haired girl with sad eyes that her hope was false
'tendras que seguir siendo una slave for McDonald's without even the smallest space of your own to raise your daughter'

I will walk through the plastic and pink tweed jungle past diamonds and designer purses
to stare at a screen and think about how I can prove to it my efficacy
I will feel as though I am powerless and go fill my coffee mug in frustration and desperation
at some point something will recharge my drive
today it was the smile and hug from a woman with whom I bothered to share a human connection

Here I sit, eyes strained by the hollow light
I dare not think of those souls I know who are working themselves to death THIS very moment
ripping their bodies apart not sparing their minds
neither their souls nor their family lives are safe
all this sacrificed so they can live freely
freely deprived of lights, health, and dignity

Tomorrow here again I will be, only slightly distanced from
slovenly pigs who mull over profits, portfolios, and propaganda
and those who I can't call friends will peacefully seek refuge in dreams

just a simple monday off, yet ever so freeing

just a few photos to show what I've been up to lately. more accurately--this weekend. It was a busy busy one. I did about a billion things, but it was good for a change rather than feeling the paralysis of winter. First dinner party, quite nice. Then, yes, I was doing dishes. And finally, last nights arm wrestling competition. Were these really the people doing the anthropological Observations?? I fear for the discipline.

It was a good weekend because I saw some friends I have not seen for a while. It's interesting to me because there have been so many times I felt like i had nothing in my life with these people, but I think there are many other things involved. I suppose I have many more comments for this but as of now do not feel a desire to continue typing. Oh well, leave more to comment on for later.

now I will retire to my bed to watch a movie on my new ridiculously large screen. I'm sure my eyes won't stay on it long.